Movie Review - Titanic 2

When we set up this blog, we had the idea of reviewing things that we watched or listened to. So here goes my first movie (if you could call it that) review.

-rolls eyes-

I first heard about this "film" when PerezHilton posted it on his website. I laughed. Like any other person would do, I laughed. I mean the original is great. The sinking part anyway, the bit before drags on, controversial maybe but meh. Moving on, I thought I wouldn't actually get to see this movie because it was straight-to-dvd and I don't buy things :) But Andi Thompson alerted me that it was on the SyFy Channel a few days ago. So I immediately began looking through the TV guide for a repeat and luckily I found one.


Me and my best friend Nicole Mullen (who's rather excellent fashion blog can be found here.) sat and watched it today at my house. Here's the description of the movie: 

"On the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened "Titanic 2," follows the path of its namesake. But when a tsunami hurls an ice berg into the new ship's path, the passengers and crew must fight to avoid a similar fate."

Even that is enough to make you laugh surely? The films starts off with a man surfing randomly next to some ice in greenland. The CGI is so bad it hurt my eyes. For a media student it was brutal to watch. Anyway, a huge chunk of ice breaks off and the man dies. Oh noes. Moving to the new ship, Titanic II -sniggers- it sets sail. Again CGI is terrible and it will be through the whole movie. 

Back in Greenland a man arrives on the ice and meets a woman there. I still do not know their names so forgive me. While there, a bigger chunk of ice breaks off. During this scene, a man who is running from the cracking ice, falls through a gap and dies. This was so unbelievably funny we had to rewind and watch again. As I mentioned before the CGI is awful and the acting could be even worse. So the broken ice sends a huge tsunami into the North Atlantic Ocean. Hmm's, isn't that where the Titanic 2 is sailing? The man and woman from Greenland survived btw and made it on to a helicopter which is now tracking the tidal wave, which is traveling at 800mph. Is that even possible? 

The wave picks up an iceberg on the way and crashes into the ship. Oh dear. The ship begins to sink and the passengers who just seemed to run around screaming and randomly fall over when there's nothing there to fall over are evacuated into these weird lifeboats which are like little submarines. The man in the helicopter has a daughter who happens to be on the ship. She tries to save her friend but she dies. The engine's on the ship then explode.

While all that draaamaaa was happening, another chuck of ice broke off sending a mega tsunami which is also heading towards the sinking ship. The wave hits. It sinks the ship and all the lifeboats essentially killing everyone that was onboard. Except the man's daughter who managed to selfishly get her self a scuba diving suit and oxygen tank while watching the man who owned the ship die in front of her. Nice. Her dad somehow jumps from the helicopter, which crashes for some reason that we couldnt figure out and finds his daughter. He manages to get her to the life raft from the helicopter which has the other woman in also, just as the US Coast Guard helicopters arrive a little too late. 

What an awful movie it was, yet it was a comical genius. The story was ridiculous, as was the acting and everything else. But it made the film movie. I would sit through it again, just because it makes me laugh, not for anything else. 

I give it 2 Stars.