TOWIE 6th April 2011

WARNING! This programmes contains flash cars, big watches and Harry in a leotard. The tan you see might be fake, but the people are all real although some of what they do has been set up purely for your entertainment. 

Previously:

• Lydia had an argument with Arg because she thinks he doesn't love her anymore. :(
• Joey Essex is still pining after Lucy.
• Big drama between Kirk and Lauren Pope!

Cue Titles!

What happened:

• Joey Essex is incredibly vain. That is all. Reem is my new favourite word. 
• Lauren Pope and Maria discuss last night events, both looking like they would in the morning. WHO WANTS TO SEE THAT?
• Lucy tells Sam what happens last night! Giggles all round. Lesbianism is suggested. I agree. 
• Joey Essex cannot take his eyes of the mirror. Amazing. 
• Mark and 'Larg' play golf. My days.
• Lydia and Lauren talk about 'Larg'.
• IT'S HARRY'S BIRTHDAY! Harry and Amy check out a venue for his party. Bitch knows what he wants
• Ahh one of those famous Essex phone calls between 'Larg' and Lydia. WHERE'S MR DARCY? 
• Mark and Lauren are looking for a dog. This can only end in disaster. 
• Kirk arrives in his pimp car and talks to Lauren Pope. Knob cheese.
• Mark and Lauren annoy they hell out of me but they've chosen the cutest dog ever!
• Lauren Pope is stupid if she gets back with Kirk and I will start not to like her.
• Amy, Sam and Harry are talking about his party! I can't believe he's only 17!
• Lauren Pope and Maria talk about Kirk. Boring me now. 
• Oh. My. Days, Harry is dressed as Lady GaGa. Brilliant. On to the party!
• So here's the crack. It's Harry's birthday and there's obviously a fancy dress theme! Harry is Lady GaGa, Jess is Marilyn Monroe, Lydia is Legally Blonde, Arg is Fred Flinstone, Mark and Lauren are John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John from Grease, Lucy is Betty Boop, Amy is Jessica Rabbit, Gemma is a playboy bunny (SKANK), Sam is Ursula Andress (what is that?), Billie is Wonder Woman, Lauren Pope is Pamela Anderson from Baywatch, Kirk is Superman, Maira is Geri Halliwell, Joey Essex is Beach Ken, Chloe is Lara Croft and last but definitely not least NANNY PAT IS THE QUEEN!!
• Everyone is here, let the party commence!
• Lydia and Mark talk about the Arg situation. 
• Joey Essex talks to  Lucy! Tells her she's missed the boat, after she tells him she likes him! Amazing.
• Harry performs a Lady GaGa dance. Nice. 
• Lydia and Arg get back together. Yay!
• Happy Birthday Harry!! 
• Kirk and Maria have an awkward conversation and a fight. Lovely. 
• Ohmylordy. STEAMY KISS BETWEEN SAM AND JOEY ESSEX! (while Mark watches) :O

That's your lot. See you next Sunday!

BIG BROTHER IS COMING BACK!

And here's all the details! 


So, as you know, Channel 4 dropped Big Brother last year and the show ended with Series 11 and a special series which saw Brian Dowling crowned The Ultimate Housemate. There were plenty of tears and if you want to re-live it, just search for Ultimate Big Brother right here on the blog. 


There were plenty of rumor and speculation that other channels might pick it up and to be quite honest I didn't think it would ever happen, but now I've been proven wrong, and Channel 5 have picked up the show in a 2 year deal with creators Endemol.


An 'all star' celebrity series will run for 4 weeks this coming August! Producers have set their sights on the likes of Amy Childs, former Big Brother stars and an odd choice of Charlie Sheen. 


After that, a normal series will start in September with members of the public going into the house. 


Another celebrity series will run in January followed by another normal series in the Summer, back to how Channel 4 did it. 


It's also rumoured that the 24/7 live feed will return after Channel 4 cut it last year to save costs. 


A presenter for the show has not been announced yet, but Davina McCall has ruled herself out. Favourites to get the job include Emma Willis who presented Big Brother's Little Brother last year, Ultimate Housemate Brian Dowling and Vanessa Feltz. 


It is unknown if the voice of Big Brother, Marcus Bentley will return to tell us what day it is and what the time is. 


It's also been rumoured  that the prize fund will increased from £100,000 to £500,000! Wow. 


So what do you BB fans think then? Will you watch it? Who do you want to present it? Will it be the same? Let me know!

TOWIE - 3rd April 2011

Warning! This programme contains flash cars, big watches and Amy Childs in a teeny weeny bikini. The tans you see might be fake, but the people are all real, although some of what they do has been set up purely for your entertainment. 

So, believe it or not were on to episode 5 already! Crazy times! 

Previously:

• Amy chose Paloma has her new assistant in the beauty salon and gave her a make over. She looks dreadful. 
• Kirk broke up with Lauren Pope. It was sad times. 
• Lydia's crazy mam picked on poor Arg. 
• Joey Essex tried it on with Lucy yet again, and failed miserably yet again.
• Chloe revealed she has a daughter. I had to pick my jaw of the floor. 
• Arg continues to battle his weight issues.
• Lauren cooked Mark's family a meal and then Mark left to create drama. Wonderful. 

Cue titles. 

Here's what happened: 

• Amy tries on some clothes in Minnies (Sam and Billie's shop) and we learn a new phrase. 'Skank out'. I hope it catches on. 
• Kirk's pervy dad bought him a car. More reason to dislike them.
• Lauren has coffee with her sister Nicola and they talk about shit. I'm beginning to bore myself! 
• Back to Amy and her huge boobs which cause problems when trying clothes on. You can't help but laugh really. 
• Lauren Pope moans to Maria about Kirk. 
• Ew. It's Gemma. or Pointless Gemma as I like to call her because she is in fact pointless and vile. Kirk shows up in his new car like a pimp or something and talks to Amy and PG while they stand in the rain. He's lovely. MORE reason to dislike him. 
• Arg tries on some of Mark's clothes as he sits their randomly shirtless and insults him. SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. 
• Lydia's making some sort of photo album full of her and Arg while her scary mam irons. The Life <3 
• Time to party bitches! Mark reckons he's in love with Lauren. Nar. He's a knob basically and I'm gonna stop listening to what he says. AND THE A BOMBSHELL DROPS. Mark says Arg has been cheating on Lydia? :o
• Amy tells Kirk he needs to go into a black room and meditate. Brilliant. 
• Chloe and Joey Essex ask each other what various body parts are saying about them. It's all very odd. Also he reckons he's gonna try his luck with Lucy again. Chloe doesn't look optimistic.
• Speaking of, Kirk tries it on with Lucy and apparently succeeds because he's a man not a boy like Joey. No Lucy, he's a knob jockey, don't say I didn't warn you!
• Maria gets a massage from Paloma while Amy sits and chats about boobs and this new fake tan which you inject and it turns you orange. How horrifying. Oh and how Lauren Pope is after the break-up.
• Arg tells Lydia he and his dad have bought a derelict house for them to move into. Arg doesn't know what derelict means. Suddenly out of nowhere they have a huge argument because Lydia feels Arg doesn't love her anymore. FEEL THE NEED TO HUG LYDIA!
• Lauren Pope and Maria are out for drinks. UH OH! Who is this walking through the door? It's only bloody Kirk on a date with Lucy!
• Nanny Pat is showing Mark her wedding photos and they talk about the differences between weddings then and now. Nanny Pat <3
• Back to where the drama is, Kirk tries to talk to Lauren Pope in private but she doesn't want to. She tells him to call the date off and then she'll talk to him. Poor Lucy. Maria starts having a go at him. He calls her an extra. BRILLIANT. Breaking the 4th wall or what! Kirk walks off and then they start having a go at poor Lucy! Maria is totally out of order calling her a slag! Totally unfair! Sad times. Kirk comes back and constantly says he can't do this. GO AWAY and leave poor Lauren Pope alone. Uuugh. 

And that's your lot. Eventful right? What did you guys think? Who's excited for wednesday?

Only Way Is Essex News!

It's been a while so let's get some of our Essex fix, since you all went crazy over the last post!

The Only Way Is Essex Series 2?

I bring happy news!

ITV2's new reality soap The Only Way Is Essex has been renewed for a second series AND a Christmas Special! The show follows a group of friends and frenemies in their lives of living in Essex, the only place to be apparently. The show has done great in the ratings and has a strong following of fans, including myself. 

I personally love the show. It's so addictive and the majority of characters are so loveable. Especially Amy Childs who is my favourite.

Are you happy TOWIE has been renewed?