TOWIE 6th April 2011

WARNING! This programmes contains flash cars, big watches and Harry in a leotard. The tan you see might be fake, but the people are all real although some of what they do has been set up purely for your entertainment. 

Previously:

• Lydia had an argument with Arg because she thinks he doesn't love her anymore. :(
• Joey Essex is still pining after Lucy.
• Big drama between Kirk and Lauren Pope!

Cue Titles!

What happened:

• Joey Essex is incredibly vain. That is all. Reem is my new favourite word. 
• Lauren Pope and Maria discuss last night events, both looking like they would in the morning. WHO WANTS TO SEE THAT?
• Lucy tells Sam what happens last night! Giggles all round. Lesbianism is suggested. I agree. 
• Joey Essex cannot take his eyes of the mirror. Amazing. 
• Mark and 'Larg' play golf. My days.
• Lydia and Lauren talk about 'Larg'.
• IT'S HARRY'S BIRTHDAY! Harry and Amy check out a venue for his party. Bitch knows what he wants
• Ahh one of those famous Essex phone calls between 'Larg' and Lydia. WHERE'S MR DARCY? 
• Mark and Lauren are looking for a dog. This can only end in disaster. 
• Kirk arrives in his pimp car and talks to Lauren Pope. Knob cheese.
• Mark and Lauren annoy they hell out of me but they've chosen the cutest dog ever!
• Lauren Pope is stupid if she gets back with Kirk and I will start not to like her.
• Amy, Sam and Harry are talking about his party! I can't believe he's only 17!
• Lauren Pope and Maria talk about Kirk. Boring me now. 
• Oh. My. Days, Harry is dressed as Lady GaGa. Brilliant. On to the party!
• So here's the crack. It's Harry's birthday and there's obviously a fancy dress theme! Harry is Lady GaGa, Jess is Marilyn Monroe, Lydia is Legally Blonde, Arg is Fred Flinstone, Mark and Lauren are John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John from Grease, Lucy is Betty Boop, Amy is Jessica Rabbit, Gemma is a playboy bunny (SKANK), Sam is Ursula Andress (what is that?), Billie is Wonder Woman, Lauren Pope is Pamela Anderson from Baywatch, Kirk is Superman, Maira is Geri Halliwell, Joey Essex is Beach Ken, Chloe is Lara Croft and last but definitely not least NANNY PAT IS THE QUEEN!!
• Everyone is here, let the party commence!
• Lydia and Mark talk about the Arg situation. 
• Joey Essex talks to  Lucy! Tells her she's missed the boat, after she tells him she likes him! Amazing.
• Harry performs a Lady GaGa dance. Nice. 
• Lydia and Arg get back together. Yay!
• Happy Birthday Harry!! 
• Kirk and Maria have an awkward conversation and a fight. Lovely. 
• Ohmylordy. STEAMY KISS BETWEEN SAM AND JOEY ESSEX! (while Mark watches) :O

That's your lot. See you next Sunday!

TOWIE - 3rd April 2011

Warning! This programme contains flash cars, big watches and Amy Childs in a teeny weeny bikini. The tans you see might be fake, but the people are all real, although some of what they do has been set up purely for your entertainment. 

So, believe it or not were on to episode 5 already! Crazy times! 

Previously:

• Amy chose Paloma has her new assistant in the beauty salon and gave her a make over. She looks dreadful. 
• Kirk broke up with Lauren Pope. It was sad times. 
• Lydia's crazy mam picked on poor Arg. 
• Joey Essex tried it on with Lucy yet again, and failed miserably yet again.
• Chloe revealed she has a daughter. I had to pick my jaw of the floor. 
• Arg continues to battle his weight issues.
• Lauren cooked Mark's family a meal and then Mark left to create drama. Wonderful. 

Cue titles. 

Here's what happened: 

• Amy tries on some clothes in Minnies (Sam and Billie's shop) and we learn a new phrase. 'Skank out'. I hope it catches on. 
• Kirk's pervy dad bought him a car. More reason to dislike them.
• Lauren has coffee with her sister Nicola and they talk about shit. I'm beginning to bore myself! 
• Back to Amy and her huge boobs which cause problems when trying clothes on. You can't help but laugh really. 
• Lauren Pope moans to Maria about Kirk. 
• Ew. It's Gemma. or Pointless Gemma as I like to call her because she is in fact pointless and vile. Kirk shows up in his new car like a pimp or something and talks to Amy and PG while they stand in the rain. He's lovely. MORE reason to dislike him. 
• Arg tries on some of Mark's clothes as he sits their randomly shirtless and insults him. SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. 
• Lydia's making some sort of photo album full of her and Arg while her scary mam irons. The Life <3 
• Time to party bitches! Mark reckons he's in love with Lauren. Nar. He's a knob basically and I'm gonna stop listening to what he says. AND THE A BOMBSHELL DROPS. Mark says Arg has been cheating on Lydia? :o
• Amy tells Kirk he needs to go into a black room and meditate. Brilliant. 
• Chloe and Joey Essex ask each other what various body parts are saying about them. It's all very odd. Also he reckons he's gonna try his luck with Lucy again. Chloe doesn't look optimistic.
• Speaking of, Kirk tries it on with Lucy and apparently succeeds because he's a man not a boy like Joey. No Lucy, he's a knob jockey, don't say I didn't warn you!
• Maria gets a massage from Paloma while Amy sits and chats about boobs and this new fake tan which you inject and it turns you orange. How horrifying. Oh and how Lauren Pope is after the break-up.
• Arg tells Lydia he and his dad have bought a derelict house for them to move into. Arg doesn't know what derelict means. Suddenly out of nowhere they have a huge argument because Lydia feels Arg doesn't love her anymore. FEEL THE NEED TO HUG LYDIA!
• Lauren Pope and Maria are out for drinks. UH OH! Who is this walking through the door? It's only bloody Kirk on a date with Lucy!
• Nanny Pat is showing Mark her wedding photos and they talk about the differences between weddings then and now. Nanny Pat <3
• Back to where the drama is, Kirk tries to talk to Lauren Pope in private but she doesn't want to. She tells him to call the date off and then she'll talk to him. Poor Lucy. Maria starts having a go at him. He calls her an extra. BRILLIANT. Breaking the 4th wall or what! Kirk walks off and then they start having a go at poor Lucy! Maria is totally out of order calling her a slag! Totally unfair! Sad times. Kirk comes back and constantly says he can't do this. GO AWAY and leave poor Lauren Pope alone. Uuugh. 

And that's your lot. Eventful right? What did you guys think? Who's excited for wednesday?

3rd April 2011 Round-Up

Sunday is normally a slow news day but let's have a gander at what happened then.




1. BIG BROTHER IS BACK! 


There's been plenty of rumor and speculation that Channel Five had picked up the Big Brother format after Channel 4 sadly dropped it last year, and today it's been reported that Big Brother WILL return this summer! The Daily Star (a very respectable newspaper) has claimed Channel Five which is currently going through a reinvention phase has signed a 5 year deal with BB creators Endemol. Appaz the show will return for a 4 week celebrity series in August, followed by a regular series in September. 

Seems kinda odd and quick to me, but I love Big Brother. Whether it'll be the same or as good as it once was is another thing. There won't be any Davina McCall as host because she's said her goodbyes and left the house. So who will host the show? Will there still be a Geordie narrator? Who will be the celebrity contestants? Will it be just as good? Hmms. Let's hope so. I'll give it a year before I decide whether to apply to go on it ;)


2. Charlie Sheen is a joke.


I don't know if you've heard of this guy called Charlie Sheen? There was the whole drama over him being crazy and fired from this show he's in called Two and a Half Men. It wasn't reported that much so I don't blame you for not knowing about it. ANYWAY he went on, what, some sort of comedy tour? is that what it is? Yeah we'll go with that. A comedy tour, which sold out in minutes. He debuted last night in the good city of Detroit and the audience was less than pleased and booed him of the stage after 15 minutes. That's what I like to call awkward. Sheen didn't return to the stage after the intermission. 


3. Hello! New album from Beyonce in June?


I love me some Beyonce like. What a woman! After the amazement of her last album, could she do any better? Probably. According to reports, Beyonce, who just recently ended her profession relationship with her father Mathew Knowles has played 6 new tracks to her label bosses and they could not be happier. One has said "It was just amazing. These songs, the best description I can give them is groudbreaking. She's gone to another level." Once he removed his head from her arse that is. Her new album will be be released in June to coincide with her Glastonbury Festival performance. Handy ;) looking forward to it though!


4. Don't worry though, she's still, she's still Jenny from the Block. It's fine!


You've probably heard Jennifer Lopez's new track 'On The Floor' with Pitbull by now right? I mean where have you been if you haven't heard it. SHAME ON YOU, because it is a bloody good song and it's only gone and knocked Adele off the top spot in the UK Charts! FINALLY. Not that I don't love Adele and that song but come on, surely people still couldn't be buying it! Every household in Britain must have a copy. Seriously though, congratulations on your 3rd UK Number One Jennifer Lopez. It's well deserved and I cannot wait for your album to hit at the end of this month. I'm gonna be honest with you, I think, your back! Niice. 


Oh also there was a Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards and people got slimed and people won crappy awards. Meh is the word I choose to use to describe that event. 


ALSO look out for a post dedicated to our beloved Essex tomorrow where I'll be taking a look at tonight's scrumptious episode, after of course I've got back FROM GOING TO SEE KATY PERRY! Yes! Expect a post about that too! EXCITING TIMES PEOPLE!


In a bit. 

2nd April 2011 Round-Up

So what happened today in the world of celebrity and TV and movies and music and stuff? Glad you asked because here's your daily round up ;)




1. Simon Cowell will appear on our X Factor?


Yeah, I'm sick of hearing about it too, but lets be honest, it's news worthy. There's been lots of talk over the past few months about who will be on the X Factor judging panel on both sides of the Atlantic. So it looks like Simon  WILL continue to judge our version as it was rumoured he wouldn't.

I AM GOD! 

Let's be real here for a second. The UK X Factor would not be the same without our beloved Simon! He's partly the reason we watch it because he's brutally honest with the terrible singers which we all love! Imagine watching the show without his witty comments or his dislike of twins and Louis Walsh! Imagine. How boring would it be? While this is all just hear say, I really don't think Simon will leave us for America. If he can do both shows that would be great. Just nap on the jet yeah?


2. Essex/Blue drama!


I know you have all been watching the new series of TOWIE! And you've been loving it right? So we have a few new characters and one of them being Chloe Sims who just recently revealed she has a child! After i picked my jaw up of the floor, today it was revealed by Simon Webb's (from Blue) girlfriend that she found him in bed with Chloe Sims! DRAMA ALERT! Obviously she decided to sell her story to a newspaper and said she found them her on top of him in their bed and she was devastated. Both Simon Webb and Chloe from Essex deny the accusations from the girl that SOLD HER STORY TO THE NEWSPAPERS EXPOSING HER FAMOUS BOYFRIEND AS A CHEAT JUST BEFORE HE'S ABOUT THE REPRESENT HIS COUNTRY AT EUROVISION. Yeah.


3. Here! The Hangover Part II has a new trailer!


Let's have a deeks:





Amazing. Comes out 27th May 2011 which is actually quite soon so yay! Hands up if your excited?


4. Nicole Scherzinger has gone back to the studio.


Wait! Didn't you just release your debut album? Why are you going back in the studio to record new material when you have an album full of amazing song waiting to be released so I can dance to in the clubs? CLUB BANGER NATION? WET? SAY YES? KILLER LOVER? Anyone of those would do nicely while I'm out in Mushroom having a jug of Skittles with one straw! Just sayin'. If you haven't listened to her album yet, I highly recommend it! It's brilliant! 


And that's it for today! In a bit!

Only Way Is Essex News!

It's been a while so let's get some of our Essex fix, since you all went crazy over the last post!

The Only Way Is Essex Series 2?

I bring happy news!

ITV2's new reality soap The Only Way Is Essex has been renewed for a second series AND a Christmas Special! The show follows a group of friends and frenemies in their lives of living in Essex, the only place to be apparently. The show has done great in the ratings and has a strong following of fans, including myself. 

I personally love the show. It's so addictive and the majority of characters are so loveable. Especially Amy Childs who is my favourite.

Are you happy TOWIE has been renewed?

The Only Way Is Essex

ITV2's new Reality Series The Only Way Is Essex is onto it's 3rd episode now and I have my opinion and I'm wondering what yours is?

What do you think about The Only Way Is Essex?
	I Love It!
	I Hate It!
pollcode.com free polls

Trashy TV Alert!

And don't you just love it!

ITV2's new show, The Only Way Is Essex starts tonight at 10! You know you want to watch it.